I read yesterday that J K Rowling’s first book for adults will be released worldwide in September (see the article here). Entitled The Casual Vacancy it sounds like it will be a small English town/quirky characters/mystery story. And not one wand or flying broomstick will be seen.
I have to say that I want to read it. It’s J K Rowling. I mean it will be brilliant, won’t it? (With even the e-book priced over 20 USD, I think the publisher is hoping we’ll all pay for the privilege.)
But somehow I feel a little bit sad – it seems there is life after Harry. Maybe Harry Potter really is over. Done and dusted. No need to ever go back and continue the story. As J K Rowling wrote in the final chapter, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione had kids and lived happily ever after.
Or did they? What became of them in middle-age? Did Harry remain a selfless hero once he was working the daily grind? Did Hermione manage to stay perky after a couple of kids and years and years of being married to the affable Ron Weasley?
If J K Rowling wants to write an adult book, why not make it an adult Harry Potter story? She can always use one of these scenarios:
- Scenario One – Harry Potter and the Affair to Remember: Harry is 40, balding, slightly overweight and suffering a mid-life crisis. He has a feeling that the best years of his life were lived in his adolescence. He has now become the bore at dinner parties who people avoid. His wife Ginny is rudely dismissive: ‘Shut-up Harry, no one wants to hear about your duel with Voldemort. It happened more than 20 years ago. We all know the story.’ In fact, Ginny has recently dyed her ginger hair blonde and seems to always be at levitating yoga class. The class with the handsome male instructor who she swears is gay. Maybe that’s why Harry felt the need to go out and buy a muggles sports car. At least he childhood friend Hermione always listens to him. She feels similarly frustrated in her marriage. Ron is just not exciting any more. And he lacks ambition. He hasn’t been promoted in ten years and he never helps with the children. At least they have each other …
- Scenario Two – Harry Potter and the Dead Wizard’s Society: Harry gets a job at Hogworts as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. He finds that Hogwarts isn’t the place it used to be when he was a teenager. Kids these days have no respect for their teachers. The girls spend most of the class using magic to give themselves tattoos or to send the boys magical nude photos of themselves. While the boys openly mock him with taunts of ‘Voldemort’s bitch’ and ‘Scarface.’ They use their wands to give each other wedgies and to see who can create the foulest stench. He’d just love to hex the whole lot of the buggers. Instead, he is determined to educate them. He beat the most powerful, evil wizard ever known. Surely he can help a few pimple-faced teens grow some brain cells?
- Scenario Three – Harry Potter and the License to Kill: Harry seems to have an ordinary life – on the surface. But what people don’t know is that he is MI5’s secret weapon. Yes, the muggles have discovered that witches and wizards walk amongst them. And of course they only recruit the best of the best. The name’s Potter, Harry Potter. And he’ll have his Butterbeer without the shaken and stirred part – thank you ever so kindly.
J K please feel free to use any of these scenarios – just bring the magic back!
Does anyone else have some ideas for J K?